


There's only you and me and we just disagree

by 4thofFive



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-29
Updated: 2014-08-29
Packaged: 2018-02-15 08:04:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2221662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/4thofFive/pseuds/4thofFive
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dr. Maya Chung has no idea what she's in for. Poor woman.</p>
            </blockquote>





	There's only you and me and we just disagree

**Author's Note:**

> I saw the media release for the upcoming episode where Danny and Steve have to see a therapist and this popped into my mind.
> 
> Title from the song "We Just Disagree" by Dave Mason.

The young woman sat a bit nervously in the leather chair in Steve’s office, her purse laid carefully on the floor beside her.  The tiny, delicate Asian woman in her mid-20s wore a pale linen suit and clutched a small, leather-bound journal in her hands. She’d only been a licensed psychologist for a year but she felt certain she could help the two partners sitting in front of her find a calm, healthy way to interact with each other.

 

She smiled brightly at Steve and Danny who were sitting side-by-side on the couch looking like they would prefer to be in a firefight rather than be where they were at the moment.

 

“OK,” Dr. Maya Chung chirped happily to them. “I’m really glad the two of you were able to find the time to meet with me. Usually we would do this in my office but as a favour to the Governor, I agreed to come here.”

 

Dr. Chung stopped and smiled expectantly at the two men who looked back at her blank-faced.

 

“So,” the doctor continued with slightly less enthusiasm, “the Governor is a bit concerned about your working relationship. He says you argue all the time and don’t seem to be able to communicate in what he considers a healthy and positive manner.”

 

Danny snorted loudly earning an uneven smile from Dr. Chung.

 

“Detective Williams did you have something you want to say about that?”

 

The blond detective sat forward in his seat and pointed an accusing finger towards his partner who slapped it away.

 

“The only reason I argue with this one is because he’s insane…”

 

“ _This one,_ Danny?” Steve interjected sarcastically. “I have a name you know.”

 

“Oh I know that Steven. Your name is Rambo or Neanderthal or pain in the ass or…”

 

Dr. Chung put up both hands and waved them wildly causing the two partners to subside.

 

“Let’s move past name calling shall we? Maybe you could explain in your own words why you seem to fight so much?”

 

“First of all I object to the term ‘fight’ because we don’t, and second of all if we do it’s because Steven J. McGarrett is a nut case and I, usually a calm and well-reasoned man, am being driven crazy by him.”

 

“Calm? Well-reasoned?” Steve’s voice reached an unusually high pitch at those words. “You don’t know the meaning of the words.”

 

The Commander turned and glared at the doctor.

 

“He’s a little old lady, doc. Everyone has to do what he wants and follow his precious police procedures all the time or he rants and raves like a spoiled child.”

 

“If I rant and rave, Steven,” Danny interrupted again, being careful to enunciate each word as if his partner were an idiot. “It’s because you have no respect for said police procedures and you are unbothered by the fact that you get me shot at regularly. You have the self-preservation instincts of a moth to a flame and I am dragged along behind as you leap into danger as if you were made of Kevlar.”

 

Steve rolled his eyes and shook his head in exasperation.

 

“You exaggerate Danny, you always have. I take calculated risks. I haven’t got you killed yet have I?”

 

Danny’s face flushed and he gestured wildly at Steve while staring wide-eyed at the doctor.

 

“You see? You see? This is the way he measures the success of an operation, not by how many people we’ve arrested or how safely everyone made it through but whether I got killed or not.”

 

“I would think you’d be happy about that,” Steve muttered defensively.

 

“OK, OK,” Dr. Chung interrupted loudly. “I’m not sure this is getting us anywhere.” The doctor glanced quickly into the outer offices of the Five-0 headquarters to be sure Chin and Kono were still nearby in case they were needed to break up a fight. Strangely, the two Hawaiian officers were working at the tech table seemingly oblivious to the racket going on in Steve’s office. She turned her attention back to the two men she was trying to help.

 

“Commander McGarrett, maybe you can try and express in your own words what you believe to be the most significant issue between yourself and Detective Williams.”

 

It was Steve’s turn to sit forward on the couch. He gave Danny a brief glare before turning his attention to the psychologist.

 

“Danny exaggerates like crazy doc. You’ve seen it here this morning. OK we’ve been shot at a _few_ times…”

 

“A few!” Danny yelled incredulously.

 

“Detective Williams it’s Commander McGarrett’s turn to speak, please don’t interrupt,” Dr. Chung spoke with an admonishing tone. Danny made a face, crossed his arms angrily over his chest and slumped back on the couch.

 

“As I was saying,” Steve continued, “we’ve had some close calls but I’m a Navy SEAL doctor. I know what I’m doing…”

 

“I’m a Navy SEAL. I’m a Navy SEAL,” Danny mocked in a high-pitched, sing-song voice.

 

“AND,” Steve yelled to make himself heard over his partner, “and he’s not exactly lily white either doc. He yaps endlessly about procedure but ask him about tying a guy to the hood of a car and racing around the city. Ask him about pulling the pin on a grenade and putting into the hands of a man whose hands were cuffed behind his back.”

 

Dr. Chung paled visibly and looked in horror at Danny.

 

The detective jerked forward again, perching on the very edge of the couch. He waved his hands as if swatting away Steve’s words.

 

“Oh that’s rich. This from the guy who dangles people off the sides of buildings, who throws people in shark cages, who goes running off to foreign countries by himself to track dangerous terrorists...”

 

Steve sniffed haughtily not noticing the horrified, mouth-wide reaction of Dr. Chung.

 

“I know what I’m doing Danno.”

 

Danny swiveled on the couch to glare at his partner.

 

“Oh and I don’t?”

 

Steve raised his palms to the sky incredulously.

 

“I never said that. When did I ever say that? All I’m saying is, I know how to take care of myself – and you.”

 

“If you could do it with fewer bullets and explosions I would be a happy man Steven.”

 

“The only time you’re a happy man _Daniel_ is when you’re yelling at me,” Steve snapped back. “Yelling is your go-to response to everything I do, no matter how inconsequential.”

 

“Inconsequential? Nothing you do is inconsequential. It’s all consequential Steven. And it’s all designed to shorten my life.” Danny swiveled to face Dr. Chung again. “I don’t tell people about half the stuff that this fruitcake does to threaten my existence.”

 

“It could only be your natural shyness and reserve that stops you, Danny,” Steve mocked.

 

“Gentlemen…” Dr. Chung tried to interrupt.

 

“I make your life fun, Danno,” Steve continued with a smirk. “I give your life action and adventure. You should be thanking me for broadening your horizons.”

 

“Broadening my horizons!” Danny all but shrieked, leaping to his feet to loom over Steve, hands aflail. “You’re a lunatic you wild-eyed savage.”

 

Steve stood abruptly and used his height advantage to tower over Danny.

 

“Better a lunatic than a fussy little girl who…”

 

“Detective! Commander!” Dr. Chung shouted. “Stop this bickering right this minute and sit down!”

 

Both men paused defiantly for a moment then dropped back down onto the couch with a shared huff of indignation.

 

The doctor squeezed her eyes shut and ran shaking hands over her smooth black hair. She took several calming breaths before speaking again.

 

“Look, it seems obvious to me that the two of you shouldn’t be working together. You’re hostile and antagonistic and I really feel you have some sort of shared personality problem that makes it a terrible idea for you to be partners. I’m strongly recommending you change partners or one of you leaves the Five-0 team.”

 

Dr. Chung looked up at the two men and was surprised to see a mixture of outrage and worry on their faces.

 

“What?” Danny said in a strangled voice, reaching out to put a hand on Steve’s arm. “What are you talking about? This man is my best friend. I trust him with my life and with my daughter’s life. He’s the best partner I ever had. I’m not letting him go.”

 

“But…?” the doctor interjected weakly.

 

“Same here,” Steve added, placing his hand on top of Danny’s. “Danny is like the brother I never had. He’s an amazing cop and a great partner. I have no intention of letting him go either.”

 

The two men looked at each other and shook their heads in disbelief.

 

“Are you hearing this?” Danny asked Steve. “Where does she come off saying something so terrible? Jeez, I don’t know where these doctors get their schooling.”

 

“It’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard,” Steve agreed climbing to his feet again and turning his burning gaze on the doctor. “I have no idea why you’d make such a bizarre comment doctor but Danny and I are partners and we’re going to stay that way. I’ll be telling the Governor that personally.”

 

Steve turned back to Danny and jerked his head towards the door.

 

“C’mon Danno, I’ll buy you lunch.”

 

The detective smiled and stood up from the couch.

 

“Sounds good, babe.”

 

The two moved towards his office door and Steve opened it ushering Danny ahead of him.

 

“I don’t suppose I get to drive my own car?” Danny asked sarcastically.

 

Steve snorted as he laid a warm hand on Danny’s shoulder and guided him through the bull pen.

 

“Of course not, Danny. I’d like to get to the restaurant before night falls and that won’t happen if you’re driving.”

 

“What exactly does that mean, McGarrett?” Danny demanded as he opened the main doors of the Five-0 headquarters and followed Steve through. “Just because I don’t drive like a….” the door closed softly behind the two men effectively quenching whatever Williams was saying.

 

Dr. Chung watched them leave, her mouth opening and closing uselessly as she struggled to determine what had gone wrong during the session. She jumped slightly when Kono walked into the office and put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

 

“I don’t understand…” the doctor whispered, looking up at the young officer with a haunted expression.

 

“Of course you don’t,” Kono soothed, bending down to look into the doctor’s eyes. “You’re a normal, rational person. Even with your training you couldn't possibly understand Steve and Danny. Even they don’t know why their partnership works, it just does.”

 

“But…but they hate each other.”

 

The Hawaiian officer stood up straight again and shook her head firmly.

 

“No, they love each other. They’re like brothers. When you hurt one you hurt the other. I’ve never seen such a strong friendship.”

 

Dr. Chung shook her head slowly as if trying to clear cobwebs from her mind. Looking down at her sympathetically, Kono wrapped her hand around the other woman’s bicep and pulled her gently to her feet. She had found over the years that people who had to deal with Steve and Danny for any extended period of time were often spooked and needed careful handling afterwards.

 

Kono helped the doctor slide her purse up onto her shoulder and steered the younger woman out of Steve’s office.

 

“It’s all going to be all right,” Kono murmured. “It’s best not to question or try to figure it out doctor. That way lies madness. Just know that their partnership works for them and is a major reason why Five-0 is so successful.”

 

Dr. Chung swallowed convulsively. She opened her mouth to speak but no sound came out.

 

Kono opened the main doors of the Five-0 offices and pushed the doctor gently out with a final pat on the shoulder.

 

“Thanks for coming doc,” she said with a smile. “I’m sure you helped a lot. Keep up the good work.”

 

Dr. Chung stood frozen in the hallway as the office door closed softly and Kono turned away and returned to the tech table.

 

 

The end.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
